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not even a good try

April 26, 2008

this past week i got a call at work from a woman who wanted to verify an excuse note an employee had handed in. i pulled the patient’s chart and she had not been seen in the office since 2006, but still i figured that there was a possibility that the doctor had seen her at the hospital and just forgot to tell me. i told the woman to fax me a copy of the letter and i would call her right back and let her know if it was legit.

the fax arrived. i immediately started to laugh. holy crap. it was so bad, not even a good try. the woman had told me that it “looked questionable” and boy did it. here is what the note said:

Local County Hospital

Fakey will be absent from work 4/21- 4/22/2008. She has undergone minor surgery on 4/20.

*Bad Forged Signature Here*

Doctor McDoctorton OBGYN, MD

Name of Wrong Local OB/GYN Practice

good thinking thought, forging the letter from a gynecologist, an employer would be less likely to ask questions. here are the mistakes fakey made:

  1. did not try to whip up a good looking letterhead. so easy now with computers.
  2. did not use formal business letter format.
  3. did not include her last name or date of birth.
  4. used our doctor’s name, but used the name of the office across town.
  5. the signature was completely legible.
  6. used the letters “OBGYN” like it was a credential.
  7. stated that minor surgery was performed on a sunday.

here is the dismissal letter i wrote up and mailed to fakey:

Name of My Office

100 Office Lane, Town, CT 12345

Fakey McFakerton

100 Fake Lane

East Fake, CT 54321

April 23, 2008

Ms. McFakerton:

As you know, it has come to my attention that you have committed an act of forgery using my name. Forgery is a serious crime, and we would be well within our right to pursue legal action. I have decided not to prosecute in this case, but will no longer serve as your medical provider. You have been dismissed from my practice; as I am obligated I will provide only emergency medical gynecological care to you for the next 30 days after your receipt of this notice.

I suggest that you find another provider of medical care. Your records will be sent to the office of your choosing upon written request.

*Real Signature Here*

Doctor McDoctorton, MD

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