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January 16, 2008

i think i have a problem.  i seem to procrastinate a little bit too much, just a little.

there was this romantic relationship i was involved in, it ended in 1999.  i had tons of love letters, and break-up letters, left over from this thing.  a couple years ago my parents moved out of the home my family lived in while i was in high school, where i kept this box of letters and pictures stashed in my old closet.  i had to take out all of the crap i was storing there.  i brought it to our apartment, and the other year when we moved here it came with everything else.  i couldn’t toss four years worth of letters professing an undying love (albeit dead) for me.  who could just put such a thing in the trash.  liz really had no problem with this box sitting around, she even went through a couple times, and was quite amused by it all.

in december when blue soup posted that she had erased all contact info for FM from her cell, announced that she would no longer feed into his games, and wrote FM’s number on a piece of paper and shoved into the center of a full and rarely eaten box of cherrios, i felt inspired.  i was chatting with blue soup and asked for her address so i could send her a package.  i planned to take the letters and photos i had saved all these years (or at least the lesser embarising of them) and mail them across the atlantic ocean to blue soup.  this way i would not be tossing them in the trash, as an emotional security measure they would be somewhere, at least technically, accessible by me.

well, being around christmas time as it was i really did not want to go into the post office and wait in line forever and ever to get this package out to england.  but i did have every intention of going soon, so i put all all of the papers in a bundle and put them into my big bag i carry to and from work.  here it is now, mid-january, and i took a good look into this bag searching for my office keys this morning and there was the bundle.

how embarrassing this could be/is if someone at work snooped around my crap.  or if i was in a terrifyingly disfiguring car accident and among my personal effects is a bundle of old pathetic lesbian love letters.  what i dope i am.  apparently i am fine not really remembering where this stuff is at the present moment, otherwise i would have headed off to the post office a long time ago, or stashed the bundle back in my closet.  i would not  think too much about tossing them in the trash after the last month forgetting all about the whole thing.

now i guess i should send the package out to blue soup, because she either forgot all about it and would be pleasantly surprised by post containing a glimpse into a complete stranger’s life, or so that she can stop wondering what happened to the package i told her i would mail.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. January 16, 2008 11:33 pm

    I did wonder what that was all about! Then I figured I hadn’t given you my address at all and it was just a false memory (my brain has gone to pot lately as well you know)

  2. January 16, 2008 11:34 pm

    PS – it’s 04.33am here! 😦

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