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stupid people who do stupid things

November 23, 2007

on wednesday the office was closed, but i went into work to get some stuff done while i could be alone.  i answered the phones but there was not much ringing due to the upcoming holiday.   this is the weird thing that happened to me:

phone: ring . . . ring . . .

me: this is me, how can i help you?

person:  yes, i had to take a drug test at work and now i need a note saying that the dr. wrote me a perscription.

me:  ok, i will have to pull your chart, can you hold?

person: yes.

phone: beep . . . beep . . . (that’s what it does when someone is on hold, so that i don’t forget, which has happened before so i’m glad it beeps.)

i look through the chart and see that this patient has not been in the office for over a year.

me: um, i see here that dr. has not treated you for over a year . . .

person: dr. gave me a prescription for vicodin after i had surgery.

me: it says here that this surgery was in may of last year . . .

person: well, i had bad cramps and there was some left over so i took it.

me: hadn’t it expired??

person: yes.

me: (after realizing that this was going to become an issue) what is this note for??

person: i had to take a drug test for work and it came out positive for vicodin, i didn’t think that could show up on the test, now i need a letter for my job saying that dr. gave me a prescription and i am allowed to take it.

me: i’m sorry, but we can’t help you.

person: why not?

me: because the vicodin was prescribed for one thing and you took it for another that it was not intended for.

person: so, dr. still prescribed it to me.

me: but it was for a surgery that you are no longer having pain from, and the vicodin is expired.  we really can’t help you with this.

person: how do you know i am not still having pain from the surgery?

me: you just told me why you took it.

person: but i could still be having pain.

me: i can book you an appointment if you are still having pain you really need to come in.

person: i don’t need an appointment, i just need this note.

me: i am sorry, but we cannot write you a note.

person: i don’t see why not . . .

me: because vicodin is a controlled substance . . .

person: i am not an addict or a drug seeker.

me: i am not trying to imply that you are, i am only saying that we cannot write your employer a letter saying that you are able to take vicodin.

person: i have to talk to the doctor she knows me and that i get bad cramps, she will give me a note.

me: i will take a message for the doctor.

person: i don’t see what the problem is.

me: i will take a message.  what is a number where you can be reached next week?

person: what do you mean “next week”?  i need the note now or i will loose my job.

me: the office is closed today, and dr. is not here, it will have to wait until next week.

person: fine the number is ——–.

phone: click.

well now wasn’t that stupid.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. jvalways permalink*
    November 28, 2007 6:16 pm

    i did end up writing a note for this person, it just stated that the doctor wrote a medically necessary rx in may of 2006. that seemed to do it. another satisfied patient.

  2. December 3, 2007 11:06 pm

    Does this sort of thing REALLY happen? Man, life is just full of nuts. You’ve got a kind heart writing a note for them although I doubt the note is going to help them any. (grinning)

    Peace today.

    ~ RS ~

  3. jvalways permalink*
    December 11, 2007 5:49 pm

    yes, rs, things like this happen every day . . . and we are a small operation too.

    i’m sure the note was no help at all, but at least she was not mad at me anymore.

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