dear god, please help me through this trying time. my parents are flying in on chistmas day and it might be too much for me to handle. i know that generally people feel that the holidays are a time to spend with family, so i feel like a real jerk saying that i would prefer not to. especially with my parents living clear across the country i should be lucky that i get to see them at all, but the truth is that i would rather not see them at all.
i do not miss them. i do not miss feeling obligated to spend time with them. absence does make the heart grow fonder, but it cannot make my heart grow fond enough.
my father i can bear, maybe even start to like. the problem is that my father comes with my mother, and she drives me mad. she smokes, she drinks a lot even though she’s diabetic and she has a gambling habit. even at 30 she has left me feeling odd and damaged. i wish i could say why, but i don’t feel like it would be appropriate to put it out in print.
i just want to live a normal life and enjoy the holidays with friends and family minus the odd, damaged feeling. i wish i had a mother that i felt could care about me, but unfortunately i’m afraid that she can’t.
dear readers, please forgive me for being criptic, maybe i can expand at a later date.
December 20, 2008 at 11:05 pm |
I can so relate. My father is dead and I can not stand to be in my mother’s presence longer than 10 minutes, which really makes Christmas Day a blast….
December 21, 2008 at 3:01 am |
Believe me, I understand. I’m not spending Xmas with my mom either; she’s going to visit friend instead. I was so relieved to hear it.
December 21, 2008 at 12:47 pm |
That is why the sying “you can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family” exists.
I feel for you hun. I have avoided my mother for many years at Christmas time now. She was none too impressed so I have to go there this year. Keep smiling and you’ll get through it!